Fear Not for I am with Thee

Last night the ladies bible study watched session four of Beth Moore's Esther class. I wanted to share some thoughts about the class with all of you.

At the beginning of the video Beth told us that she hoped to change our way of thinking about this particular topic. She began by reading Esther 4:10-16. These verses are a conversation between Esther and Mordecai about the destruction of the Jews in the kingdom. The conversation shows Esther going from Fear and Self preservation in verse 11 to "If I perish, I perish" in verse 16. Beth focuses on Esther choice to embrace her destiny that laid in front of her in Verse 14 when Mordecai says "If you keep silent at this time, liberation and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father's house will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this." What I love about these verses is that there is no confusion on whether Esther has a choice. It is clear that she can either rise up or she can keep silent, but either way, liberation and deliverance will come. But will it be through Esther, It is her choice to make. Will she choose to conquer fear and trust that God will be there? Will We?
 Beth talks about fear in a way I have never considered before. She presented the following simple sentence:

"IF THIS _________, THEN ___________."

In the first blank she asked us to place any and all fears we have. Whether it be a fear of death or loss, fear of your husband leaving you, fear of diagnosis, fear of failure, etc. Then in the second blank put what you would do if one of these fears actually happened. As I listened last night to the laundry list of possible fears, I scanned through my extensive catalog of personal fears (one of my biggest struggles). I put each one in the blank and proceeded to determine what would be in that second blank. What would I do? Tears began to stream down my face as if my fears were happening right before my eyes. I didn't know what I would do. Devastation? Hopelessness? Would I give up? Would I die? Would I live the rest of my life in anger? All seemed so possible. But as Beth said my enemy would have me! Every time I fear and think that if it happens I would just give up, then the enemy has me! He has control of me! Though many of my fears, if not all of them, will never happen, just the fact that I allow them to interfere with the decisions I make in life shows that the enemy has me! And he will continue to test me on it b/c he can get a psychological reaction from me! IT HAS TO STOP! The fear has to STOP! I hope that for the remainder of my life I will fight the urge to be fearful and make my sentence look a little more like this:

"IF THIS _________, THEN GOD!

Beth said our destiny is not fulfilled when we die. Our death is just part of it and our destiny is not fulfilled until Jesus returns to this earth! It has definitely made me think differently about death…..about how people die. Was Papaw really called to a courageous death? Was Lung cancer just a step in his destiny? How could he have possibly had a choice in this the way Esther did? Clearly I have had a lot of anger about this for MANY years! But I think this has really helped me think about it differently. Papaw had many choices during his battle with cancer. He had the choice to give up on his family and to give up on God. I watch him suffer but I NEVER saw him fail. He may have been physically weak, but he was incredibly strong! During his battle he prepared my Memaw for life beyond him. Obviously she could never be prepared for the pain of losing him, but she was prepared to live on this earth without him. He taught her the finances and bought her a safe vehicle. He made sure she was surrounded by people who could help her. He also NEVER gave up on GOD! He continued to study His word and attend services every chance his body would allow. He prayed for his family and was a strong influence on us all. Cancer may have taken his body but his life still lives in us all. And because he is still in my heart, he is still fulfilling his destiny, not just in heaven, but here on earth.

I love the way Beth says it “We need to live, live, live until we die, and in a blink of an eye, LIVE for eternity!”